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Paul’s Search for God
Saint Augustine famously wrote, “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient and ever new! Late have I loved you! And, behold, you were within me, and I out of myself, and there I searched for you” (The Confessions, Book X). This statement marvelously summarizes the sublime mystery of God’s action in a person’s conversion. Augustine recognizes that his search for God was a return to the self; an interior restoration of self. Augustine also indicates here that God dwelt within him, waiting to perform his salvific and regenerative act. What was he waiting on?

In St. Augustine’s conversion, there were many circumstances and people that led him to faith in Jesus Christ. This also holds true in our journey to the Lord. In my brief experience as a catechist, I have witnessed conversions in the people I encounter and in each of these circumstances, a person—primarily a catechist – has been involved. This is not to claim the conversion is brought about by the catechist. It is not the catechist who brings about conversion but rather it is the Holy Spirit, at work within the charism of the catechist that brings about the conversion.

One such instance involves a man that I worked with named “Paul.” Paul possessed a gentleness of spirit and a sincere kindness that is uncommon. Paul was baptized and received his first Communion as a child, but his parents failed to instill in him a vibrant faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. Thus, as he grew and aged, he began to wander considerably from the path of the baptized. Eventually, he married, had children, and then divorced his wife without obtaining an annulment. He later remarried to a Catholic woman in a similar situation. In all this, Paul considered himself a good person. But, there came a point in his life when he realized something was missing.

Victory Over Death and Darkness

Ten years ago I woke up from a medical coma in Billings, Montana.

Five days earlier, while I was working at a Catholic ranch for delinquent youth in northwest Wyoming, I was nearly killed. One night, while we were camping out at a site in the middle of the Wyoming high desert, in an attempt to steal the keys to a truck so they could escape from the ranch, four teenage boys waited until I fell asleep. I was in a sleeping bag under the stars. They snuck out of their tent and picked up irrigation shovels nearby. Their goal was to knock me out so they could easily steal the keys. They gathered around me, counted to 3, and then repeatedly pummeled my head—about 8-10 hits—causing a skull fracture and blood clot on my brain. One boy, not involved in the assault, ran to the staff house to get help.

Help arrived. I was airlifted to Billings. The following morning I had head surgery—a 3-inch by 3-inch piece of skull was removed (to be replaced 5 months later)—to address the bleeding on my brain and swelling. Had this boy not ran, I would have bled to death that night.

He saved my life.

n Weakness
People don’t brag about how weak they are. People want to think of themselves as confident, capable, self-sufficient... strong. I certainly don't recall being cheered on for how physically weak I was as a freshman in gym class! And if there had been an award for that, I certainly would have won. I couldn't bench press the bar. These are not the stories we celebrate or share with others—we love sharing the stories in which we were the heroes.

The paradox of the Christian faith is that when we are weak, God's greatness and his strength are made manifest. St. Paul begged the Lord to take away a thorn in his side, but the response was "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9).

Over many years in ministry, I have been drawn to a deeper union with God on many occasions. Frequently, this comes through a powerful experience of my weakness.

In Evangelii Gaudium, Pope Francis speaks of two necessary “arts” for evangelization: the “art of accompaniment” and the “art of listening.” The Holy Father stresses that these intrinsically linked arts should mainly focus on the persons being evangelized, by truly seeking to know them and binding ourselves to walk with them wherever they are at in life:

Patiently Waiting Upon the Lord

I do not like patience. I don't enjoy exercising it and I particularly dislike knowing that it is something good that I should like. Patience, though, is key to seeing the incredible work of God in the human heart.

My high school religion classes are forty minutes a day, five days a week, for half a year. In addition to the intention of catechesis, they are also intended to be academically rigorous. We have tests; there are papers to be written; mastery of the material is desired and sometimes achieved. Amidst the intensity and the rhythm of these worthy pursuits, conversion is not always noted. It isn't reflected in test grades and, among high school students, is not something they share freely with their teachers. It can be easy to be discouraged and wonder, "Is anything I am doing making any difference?"

There was a time when I thought conversion only meant changing from one faith to another. It was much later that I discovered it is an ongoing process. Conversion can be gradual, or it can take place as an epiphany: a sudden awakening, or illumination. This is where my testimony begins.

I was asked to teach RCIA class on prayer. This was God’s first step in answering my own prayer at the time, which was for a better prayer life. Mine felt dry and empty, a letdown from my expectations. Something was missing.

In preparing for the class, I came across a quote from Saint Thérèse of Lisieux that triggered my epiphany: “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” In an action of God’s grace, this quote touched my soul. It awakened the realization that my prayer life lacked that intimate “surge of the heart” that looks toward heaven, and encounters the living God—an interior realization that prayer is not a one-way street but an exchange of love between Creator and creature! I realized prayer is communion, communication with God!

Este artículo es el primero de una serie de artículos sobre la catequesis para y con las personas con discapacidades. Surgen sin cesar tecnologías y medios de comunicación nuevos y se ponen al servicio de este noble objetivo. Desafortunadamente, nuestro tiempo es también uno que es testigo del aborto, de la eutanasia, y del racionamiento médico de la vida de los que la sociedad pueda juzgar como "no necesarios", apropiándose el derecho de cometer estas atrocidades en el nombre de la misericordia".

En la Grecia y la Roma antiguas, mataban abiertamente a las personas consideradas "defectuosas" o se les abandonaba a la muerte. En los Evangelios vemos que si una persona padecía alguna discapacidad, las demás lo atribuían a sus pecados o a los pecados de sus padres. Jesús derrocó esta visión y se puso a cambio a sanar a los ciegos, a los sordos y a los que sufrían de alguna otra discapacidad, Basta leer el Evangelio según San Marcos para saber que Jesús sanaba a los que padecían estas condiciones y hasta resucitaba a los muertos.[i] San Mateo registra la misión que Jesús confió a sus discípulos resaltando el hecho de que aún ellos estarían involucrados en la sanación: "Sanen a los enfermos, resuciten a los muertos, limpien de su enfermedad a los leprosos y expulsen a los demonios. Ustedes recibieron gratis este poder; no cobren tampoco por emplearlo" (Mt 10:8).

It was a warm, sunny day at the end of spring. Instead of spending the beautiful Saturday according to their own wishes, our students were reluctantly settling into their seats in a classroom. I saw looks of boredom on the faces of the youth and noted the variety of ages among those present. I glanced over at the two other members of our team: a young, enthusiastic priest and a very energetic woman who taught children much younger than those gathered before us. We had been recruited to deliver a day-long Confirmation retreat for a Native American community. On our three-hour drive to reach the reservation, Father had emphasized the fact that the culture from which these participants would be coming might present different challenges from those to which we were accustomed. Looking around the room, I began to understand what he had been describing. The ages of the confirmandi ranged from 5th to 11th graders; and some parents or family members also requested to attend the retreat. The sisters who ran the catechetical side of the mission church located on the reservation had already informed us that many of these students failed to attend any kind of courses regularly, and thus their level of catechesis was inconsistent.

Good Advice from a Mentor Priest

In the fall, the 8th grade religious education classes were meeting for the first time in formal preparation for their Confirmation at my parish. I had the privilege of being one of the catechists responsible for catechizing these young teens. There were a total of 17 students for whom I was responsible and the task before me seemed daunting, especially going into to this experience as a new college graduate, but I wanted to be a part of my parish’s religious education program. I had many questions, so I decided to speak with one of my closest mentors, and it so happens, the priest who recruited me for this position in the first place.

When we got together, I explained that I was not certain where to begin. I had never taught before and this group included private and public school kids, honors students and below grade level students, and all levels of interest in the faith. Father smiled and right then and there told me, “I knew I picked the right person for this task.” At this point I gave a blank stare back to Father as this was not the answer that I was expecting. Father went on to say, “Your desire to bring the Word of Jesus to the students is strong, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here asking where to begin.” Father then said, “Teach from the back of the room to the front and rely on the Word.” My blank stare continued, but at this point I was extremely interested to find out what he meant. Father explained that I should start by getting to know my students and their interests outside of class and to “assign homework, but don’t collect the homework. Rather make it a point to review the content of the homework with the entire class. The students who are ready for a deeper understanding will go the extra mile, while those who are not will still benefit from your reviewing of the key concepts.” Father advised me to not only find out their interests but also to show them that I was actually interested, even if I wasn’t. This resulted in my attending many events and activities that I would otherwise not have partaken; but the students saw me and my interest in them. Finally, Father said, “Teach the Word, and Jesus will ensure that each student receives exactly what he or she needs. Text books are useful, but nothing is better than the Word itself.”

Waiting on God

We had just begun our new catechetical year at the parish. Following an opening session that was offered in large group, I made my way around to the various confirmation classes to sit in and see how things were going and how I might better support the catechists and candidates that year.