Paul’s Search for God
Saint Augustine famously wrote, “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient and ever new! Late have I loved you! And, behold, you were within me, and I out of myself, and there I searched for you” (The Confessions, Book X). This statement marvelously summarizes the sublime mystery of God’s action in a person’s conversion. Augustine recognizes that his search for God was a return to the self; an interior restoration of self. Augustine also indicates here that God dwelt within him, waiting to perform his salvific and regenerative act. What was he waiting on?

In St. Augustine’s conversion, there were many circumstances and people that led him to faith in Jesus Christ. This also holds true in our journey to the Lord. In my brief experience as a catechist, I have witnessed conversions in the people I encounter and in each of these circumstances, a person—primarily a catechist – has been involved. This is not to claim the conversion is brought about by the catechist. It is not the catechist who brings about conversion but rather it is the Holy Spirit, at work within the charism of the catechist that brings about the conversion.

One such instance involves a man that I worked with named “Paul.” Paul possessed a gentleness of spirit and a sincere kindness that is uncommon. Paul was baptized and received his first Communion as a child, but his parents failed to instill in him a vibrant faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. Thus, as he grew and aged, he began to wander considerably from the path of the baptized. Eventually, he married, had children, and then divorced his wife without obtaining an annulment. He later remarried to a Catholic woman in a similar situation. In all this, Paul considered himself a good person. But, there came a point in his life when he realized something was missing.