I was born in New Hampshire and lived with my Grandmother outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania after my parents divorced in Vermont when I was six. I was diagnosed with Type I diabetes at thirteen during the eight years I lived in Ohio with my divorced father and brothers and sister, all older than me. My entire time in Ohio was spent in poverty, including several winters going without heat in the house. Not knowing the Natural Law that personal responsibility and one's decisions pave the path before a man, I left home at 18 (and vowed never to go back, which I didn't), a year and a half after moving to Texas with my father (who left Ohio to escape many things aside from just the poverty), heading to college objectively ill-equipped to be an adult. An avowed atheist, misogynist, liberal and moral relativist by this time, I eagerly participated in the immoral lifestyle of a person without scruples or virtue.
The time I spent with my Grandmother is where the seeds for my grace-filled life and apostolate, ManHusbandDad were planted, and on summer and holiday visits to her from Ohio those seeds would be watered and nurtured, eventually starting to show growth above the dirt after I had finished four years of college and had determined that my lifestyle, for some reason I did not know, wasn't right.Those four years were spent walking in the shadow of a building on my college campus that had words inscribed on it that I finally read and accepted as a challenge to me personally from God:
"Ye shall know the Truth and the Truth shall make you free." (This link will show you the picture from my web site)
I read these words for the first time ten days before I transferred from this school that supported my immoral lifestyle to another school one hundred miles and a completely different world away. The events leading up to reading those words is a great story of God's intervention and nudging.
So I spent the next four years facing off against God's challenge (When I had read those words I said out loud, as an atheist, "Okay, God, if you exist, let's see who knows the truth. I accept."). I was an honest skeptic seeking the Truth through myriad books and faith traditions, counting the Bhagavad Gita, Koran, Torah, Talmud, Bible, Book of Mormon, I Ching and their incumbent religions among them, but the list is exhaustive. I visited every house of worship I could, and stood outside those I wasn't allowed in, asking questions constantly. Eventually I found the Catholic Church, convinced intellectually of its founding by Jesus Christ when I read Mathew 16:18:
And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church
This revelation of the succession of Popes throughout history, of which I am a proud student, was the final piece in a journey of Catholic discovery that had started with a very physical, personal and real experience with God two years earlier, a blessing that does not give me the option of any doubt of His existence.
I was baptized, confirmed, and came into full communion with the Holy Catholic Church on April 15, 1995; 11 days shy of my 26th birthday.
Life began anew for me that day. I left universitya month later with over 160 credit hours, eight years, and no degree, though 11 more hours would qualify me for a tripe degree in English, History, and Speech Communications. Much of that education was due to me seeking the Truth, and once the Truth set me free, God instructed me to leave school and start my own business.
Through countless miracles in the millennia prior to my baptism and the 19 months after, I married Beth on November 9, 1996, and God has continued to shower miracles upon us daily, blessing us with three boys and a dog (our second, and we had a cat for a year). I live in Texas and smoke a mean brisket. I am fond of a good cigar, especially when there is a good porch and good conversation accompanying it, and a cold beer or few fingers of Jack Daniels would top off that perfect evening. I also fancy myself a pretty good No Limit Texas Hold 'Em poker player, having finished eleventh out of 300 in the only casino tournament I ever entered.
I started speaking from the stage in 1993, when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and what I thought was a bad hand that life had dealt me. Inspired by the teachings of Stephen Covey, who taught me that if I know my past I can change my future instead of blaming my past for my lot in life, I quickly became a professional motivational speaker, being paid obscene amounts of money (at least for a 24 year-old) for presentations that my Speech professors were giving me Bs for...!
Today, chronically ill and now blind in one eye, I see opportunity in life where once I saw nothing but hopelessness. And I like to share that with people, as well as my philosophy and concrete guidelines on how to not just make it through life, but to succeed in a way that can only mean God has something special only you can do.
In 2013, twenty years after showing me that His gift to me was the talents of writing and speaking, God gave me the vision for ManHusbandDad . I like to say that God gave me a talent for writing and public speaking, and made me aware of it before I even believed in Him. It just took almost two decades for Him to train me on what he wanted me to write and speak about - being a Man, Husband, and Dad. And it took several more years for him to bring my training to a point here I could share what He wanted me to share.
This conclusion was not an easy discernment. Who was I to teach others how to be a Man, much less a Husband and a Dad? I had grown up in abject poverty; sexual, physical, emotional and mental abuse; a broken and dysfunctional family life; subjective agnosticism and atheism; misogyny; and moral relativism that justified all of it including divorce, abandoning children, and degenerate and purposeful lack of parenting. Combined with a constant fear of not knowing when or where the next meal would come, or if I would be allowed to eat it, I not only started out with no training in how to be a Man, Husband, or Dad, but actually had a diametrically opposite idea of what those vocations were - though I had no clue they were vocations, or even what a vocation was or that such a thing even existed. At the time that I discovered my talents for speaking and writing, the only thing I could speak and write about in that genre was how to break all Ten Commandments and how to best avoid being a Man, Husband, or Dad, which of course would only be profitable at a convention fo pornographers. Which is why my motivational speaking career of the 90s failed, since all I could do was mimic the great speakers like Covey, Ziglar, and Nightingale; I had no foundation in Truth back then. I was a parrot while I was slowly, through the inexorable patience of God, learning.
I have been around a couple of blocks, some of them more than once. And I've had a fair share of rodeos, too. Whether being an On-Air Radio personality or selling Radio advertising; delivering newspapers, ice, t-shirts, pizza, or custom photography; designing web sites; fixing computers; DJ'ing; steel and road construction; slinging burgers at McDonald's or a beach concession stand; or running legal files and consulting on Parliamentary Procedure issues, training organizations on membership recruitment and retention, and social media and traditional marketing and owning several businesses that provided these products and services, I have professional experiences that mix with my personal life experiences to provide a Pandora's box of topics and presentations that not only teach, but inspire (and I can also write really long sentences apparently!). And I haven't even told you about my personal experiences during my eight years of misguided college life - I think your imagination might not be able to think of everything. I hope not, anyway. There are broken souls in my wake.
I have paved my way down a path that God has shown and led me down, making the way a bit less bumpy for those who follow - starting with my Wife - Mama - and our three boys - The Boyz. Growing up without guidance on so many fronts that a Man, Husband, and Dad must be able to meet head-on, I took the vocations seriously from the start, studying successful ManHusbandDads and purposefully applying the success to my own life and family; when I met my future Father-in-Law I kept a small notebook in my pocket to write down everything he did because I could tell he was exactly what a ManHusbandDad should be, though I did not even know that concept yet. Everything I do is my own making revealed by God as the path to take, including specifically rejecting the way I was raised in order to forge a new family tree from those seeds my Grandmother planted. I am not a self-made Man - God made me. I am a self-discovered ManHusbandDad, chiseled out of the vision I had of myself into the vision God has for me.
My oldest son is a Dean's List student at Franciscan University of Steubenville, and my wife has earned her Master's degree from Franciscan as well. I've run my business from home for the last 20 years, and I have been the lead educator in our home school since 2010, since my oldest son was in fourth grade. Our family eats dinner every night at the dining room table and that alone will tell anybody what else our family is and does. To see me today is a vigorous denunciation of who I was half a lifetime ago, and the only one who recognizes me is the God who saved me and the woman who married me. I owe it to Him to share his love, that I have seen most perfectly echoed through Beth, with the nations, starting with my family. So I may not have the formal training to do it, but I have helped my parish and deanery and diocese in ways that tell me it is time to help others in tandem with my Wife and Boyz, so here I am, Lord.
Far from perfect, I seek that goal of perfection in the Biblical sense. I make many mistakes daily and still drop the ball in relationships. But I continue to improve by remembering that defeat only happens if you don't get up one more time. What you see is what you get with me, and hopefully that makes me someone you can relate to. But in the long run, I know that I am turning the ship of multi-generational dysfunction from my own past and setting the right path for my children as what Stephen Covey would call a transitional parent - and while that is not what I planned for my life, I am very comfortable knowing that I am following God's plan for me to be a Man, Husband, and Dad.
And you're invited to walk along that path with me.
That path continues to unfold before us, and in Spring of 2019 God led Beth, our Boyz, and me to combine our professional, volunteer, and ministerial activities into an organization called Holy Owned and Operated. SInce then, and with the advent of the coronavirus shelter-in-place situation much of the planet finds itself in, we have been offering catechesis and faith formation as a team for free, by subscription, and with donor support.