I’ll never forget my first day on the job as a parish youth minister. The parish business manager kindly escorted me to my office, opened the door, and then simply said: “Welcome! Now go and do youth ministry!” When she left, I felt like the kids in Jurassic Park when the adult in their Jeep abandons them to hide from a T-Rex: “He left us!” Sitting in silence, the weight of my new job overwhelmed me as a crushing confusion set in: How does one simply “go and do” youth ministry? What does that even mean? Where do I start?

Even though I studied and prepared in college for youth ministry, I had a lot to learn. I still do, even after 10 years of full-time parish youth ministry. Over the years, I’ve accumulated some valuable insight about how to help teens grow as disciples that I’d love to share with you.

One mistake I made early on as a youth minister was rushing teens into peer leadership roles. I learned this lesson the hard way after taking a group of teens from my parish to a weeklong Catholic summer camp. That week of camp was awesome; people were encountering Jesus left and right and truly connecting with each other. I was witnessing something beautiful. Young people were sharing, asking meaningful questions, praying with one another, worshiping Jesus with their whole heart, and showing real signs of deeper conversion. When we got back home, the first thing I did was assign many of those teens to help lead small groups during our Sunday youth nights. I thought it was time for them to “go, therefore”! (Mt 28:19). I was excited to see them on mission.

The mistake here is that I was prioritizing their influence over their interior formation. It didn’t take long before this group started to drift apart. Not only did I separate them from each other by assigning them to lead separate groups, I neglected to provide them with deeper formation while “their hearts were burning” (cf. Lk 24:32). Furthermore, I did not offer them more opportunities to continue growing together in community.